The One Thing You MUST Do For Yourself (and the 9 steps to get there)

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On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, what’s your level of inner peace? How about joy? And what about fulfillment?

If you’re not at a 10 in those areas, do you know what’s in between you and the 10? Do you know why you’re not totally joyful, at peace and fulfilled within? If you do, have you taken any serious steps to remove or lessen the effects of whatever is standing in the way of total fulfillment and inner peace? Do you even know where to begin?

Some believe that it’s unrealistic and even downright impossible to be 100% happy, peaceful and fulfilled, but that’s only because they’ve never experienced it. I can tell you from first hand experience, that it’s not true! It is totally possible to be 100% happy, peaceful and fulfilled! I am living proof and I’m not the only one!

Do I have moments when I’m not at peace? Absolutely! And when that happens, I always know exactly what’s going on within me making me feel that way because I’ve practiced self-awareness and self-healing for over 16 years now. I know how to process myself through anything that I’m dealing with, even if that means soliciting the HELP of other healers to help me! But I can honestly say, the majority of the time, I am absolutely at peace, joyful and fulfilled and I’ll be honest again – it took a lot to get here.

How I went from miserable to masterful!

The one thing you MUST do for yourself is HEAL. Below are some (not all) of the steps that I took transform myself and my life.

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  1. I got real with myself. You absolutely cannot help yourself if you’re not being honest with yourself about who you are being and how you feel. And no one else can help you either. You have to admit to yourself (and someone who can help you) the issues that you have and that you’re not at your greatest level of peace and happiness.
  1. I watched myself. Once I admitted that I was a miserable mess, I took a long, long look at myself. Everyday, I examined my feelings and thoughts, then my beliefs and habits, and eventually was able to determine the root cause of my unhappiness in every aspect of my life. Self-awareness is essential for healing and elevating any aspect of your life.2015-11-15 23.00.40
  1. I took action. It is not enough to admit your issues and observe yourself. You must also take the appropriate steps to begin to change and restore balance. YOU MUST PUT FORTH THE EFFORT! This will be different for each person; for me it was changing the way that I ate, the way that I talked to myself, how I thought, how I used my time, who I allowed in my inner circle, and a gang of other things.


Check out this article, From Good to Great for more details about the changes I made that contributed to my transformation and how I use my time.


  1. I studied. You absolutely cannot create a new life with the same mind that created your current life; you must learn new information that’s in the area of the healing or the changes that you’re looking to make within yourself. There are plenty of books, articles, seminars, webinars and many other resources out there that can help you understand what’s going on with you and how to get to a new state of being within yourself.

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  1. I invested in myself. I put a lot of time, money and energy into my personal growth and spiritual development. Once I realized what I needed to do, part of the action that I took was purchasing the resources that I needed to help me achieve my goals. Books, seminars, coaches, trainers, healers, workshops, etc. I never allowed myself to have an excuse to not give myself what I needed. I always found a way because THAT WAS MY PRIORITY and if I didn’t have it, I trusted that the universe would provide…and it never failed me. As much money as I had SPENT on purchases that DID NOT ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE, I had no valid reason not to INVEST in myself! My self-care and development was and still is my number one priority. Shoes, clothes, nails, hair, concerts, etc. can wait! My inner appearance is far more important than my outer!
  1. I strengthened my spirit through meditation. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP. The mental and physical changes are not enough. I established a spiritual practice of meditation that I used to help me manage my stress, heal my emotional wounds, and ultimately, elevate my consciousness to align with my divine spiritual source. Meditation lead to the awakening and development of my true self as a spiritual being with an abundance of spiritual power/gifts (that I now use to help countless people). It introduced me to inner peace, bliss, self-love, self-acceptance, divine creativity, integrity, compassion, inner satisfaction, inner guidance, clarity, and the list goes on and on. Meditation healed me and is still healing me. Affirmations, writing, visualization and prayer are also a part of my spiritual practice. This is how I discovered who I truly am and what my purpose is. This is what transformed and is still transforming me from the inside out. The woman that I am today, came  on purpose. I intended to be who I am today, this is not by accident.

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  1. I let go of the past. You absolutely cannot fully embrace the present or the future if you’re holding on to painful memories and associating with worn out identities of the past. I made a decision to forgive myself, I made amends with those I hurt and those who hurt me, and I never looked back. Meditation helped me release anything that I was subconsciously holding on to by bringing it to my conscious awareness and allowing me to see my past experiences through the eyes of the Most High. And it all made perfect sense. I made peace with it all because I saw the purpose in it all. Meditation elevated me to a place where I could see it as it was, not through the filter of my conditioned humanity.

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  1. I embraced a new vision. I no longer allowed my past to define who I was. I began dreaming and creating my ideal life and self in my mind until it became so real that it had no choice but to manifest. I stopped identifying with my old self and only saw myself as the new Selena. To do this, I had to PRACTICE being who I preferred to be and distance myself from people who refused to see me as my new self. I had to constantly choose between the old me and the me that I really wantedt to be until my ‘default setting’ was changed to the new me. In other words, I created new habits.
  1. I maintained my practice. I didn’t establish a spiritual practice that lead to my healing just to go back to doing what I was doing before healing. I tried it though, lol, and that’s how I found out that everyday, it’s a must that I spend time nurturing my soul with whatever allows me to feel my expansiveness, my limitlessness, my beauty, my joy, my love. Otherwise, I’d slip back into who I used to be because I hadn’t been completely transformed. I had to constantly identified with my best and highest self, and over time, it became my lifestyle and my identity. I don’t wish to mislead you, I haven’t ‘arrived’ because there’s no such thing; there’s always another level. There areas of my life that I’m still working on transforming, but the worst is behind me.

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In summary, I did what I needed to do to heal myself, I never gave up on my happiness, I never stopped believing that I could be better. It’s a choice, a conscious choice. Step by step, moment-by-moment, you are either – healing, changing, and getting better, or you’re burying yourself deeper into the pain of the past and a self you’d rather not be. Your choice.

Through the choices that you make each moment of each day, you are either creating a new you, or you’re reinforcing the old you. It’s really that simple, and now, there’s scientific research that confirms this.

There’s no way around it people, if you’re not happy with who you are and the life you currently have, then you either heal and get better, or sink deeper into suffering. Trust me, I know all about it.

Sixteen years ago, I made the choice to heal because needless to say, it’s a much happier and more fulfilling way to experience life; and I value this life of mine so I’m making the best of it! And now, I use my life to help others do the same.


If you don’t know what to do, a good place to start is by joining me this Friday for the Healing Spa at the Meditation Lounge located inside the Healing Arts Center on MANCHESTER. Details below.



I see massive healing, immense breakthrough for many…so much so that I’ve reached out to my fellow healers to join us to help lay hands. People, we must heal. If you want to move forward, you gotta heal. Below is my original post from last night with details on how to register.

Peace lights! So sorry for the short notice, but I feel this needs to happen ASAP, so I’m following my guidance and hosting this healing session this Friday night. I hear that there are several of you who are shedding your old self and need help letting go and fitting into your new self! It’s your time and I’m here to midwife you.

Due to the nature of this class, I’m only opening this to a small group so advanced registration is required for this one. This isn’t for everyone, only those truly ready to let go and move forward.
Join me THIS FRIDAY night for a special HEALING SPA class where you will be lead through a beautiful healing guided meditation, followed by group coaching on self-healing, self-care, and personal transformation.

You’ll have a chance to ask questions about anything you’re needing clarity or guidance on, and will learn techniques for self-healing, meditation and personal transformation.
Spontaneous Intuitive Readings and Reiki Energy Healing will be given to guests selected at random.

GIFTS FOR YOU! Every guest receives a free download of my new 45-minute Inner Healing Guided Meditation and one guest will win a 60-minute private session of your choice!


Registration will automatically close once class is full.

FOR FASTER BOOKING, download the MINDBODY CONNECT APP on your cell and search for MEDITATION LOUNGE.

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